I'm gonna have a badass scar
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
