I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
You left your phone here
Wait...
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
