good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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