My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
do herpes really smell.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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