fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
