oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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