kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
