Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
