SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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