remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I love having hate sex.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
