He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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