If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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