i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
