I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Randomize
