If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Randomize