I got her a Nickelback box set.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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