How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
operation harelip BJ is a go
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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