I just cut my nipple shaving
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Randomize
