all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Thank you for not boning my boss.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I need to align my fucking chakras
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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