You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
