We got so high we made milksteak
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
