so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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