I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Randomize
