11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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