my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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