The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
