She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I AM VODKA MAN
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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