FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
