All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Randomize
