If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
