i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
No subtext here. People are naked.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Randomize
