She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
