Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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