My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I wish you could order shots online.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
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