I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
party gras won. party gras always wins.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
