Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I don't think brook has ever known best
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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