Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
