don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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