just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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