Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Randomize
