I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
