We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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