OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
