Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
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