Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
