Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
