New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
i came on her dog
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I'm really busy with my period
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