Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
You made out with two different species that night
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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