I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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