just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
ok first of all what the fuck
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
