I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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