the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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