i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
