...so i touched it.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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