We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
