your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
