Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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