You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
she looked like the before picture.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize